Beyond Polarities: Living as All of Your Parts

The words masculine and feminine have become so tangled up in spiritual dogma that they’ve lost much of their meaning. I can’t count how many times I’ve heard people say that the “divine feminine” is about surrendering to the masculine — and every time, I cringe.

Because here’s the truth: we are not one thing. We are not here to perform gendered archetypes handed to us by society or spirituality. We are here to live as the full spectrum of our being.

Push and Pull, Not Male and Female

When I speak about masculine and feminine, I’m not talking about gender. I’m talking about energy. Masculine is the push — the force that moves outward. Feminine is the pull — the magnet that draws energy in. Both live in everyone. Both exist in every chart, every psyche, every human life.

Some planets push, some pull, some do both. Mars is a pusher. Venus is a puller. Saturn and Mercury have been assigned to both throughout history. It’s not binary — it’s a spectrum of movement and response.

The Misnomer of Surrender

If you’re a woman with Mars in Aries, surrender is not your default mode. You are wired to do, to act, to push. That doesn’t make you less feminine — it makes you you.

True femininity isn’t about letting someone else lead while you fade into the background. It’s about being yourself, fully and unapologetically. To be feminine is not to do nothing — it’s to be. And being yourself might mean leading, initiating, or creating fire.

Archetypes Can’t Live Alone

Here’s the paradox: archetypes live through us, but we are not reducible to one archetype. Life itself can’t exist within a single archetype. The richness comes from multiplicity — the many parts of us in conversation, paradox, and tension.

To try to live only as “the feminine” or “the masculine” is to shrink yourself down into a costume. The costume might look flowy or strong, but it’s still a performance. Your truth is bigger.

Beyond the Binary

The work isn’t about rejecting archetypes, but about holding them all. Being feminine isn’t about dressing a certain way or following a rigid script. Being masculine isn’t about constant doing and conquering. Both are costumes the planets wear, energies they channel.

When you allow yourself to embody all of your parts — the push and the pull, the softness and the fire — you step beyond polarities. And in that wholeness, you don’t need to ask whether you’re feminine enough or masculine enough. You are simply yourself.

Closing Invitation

You are not here to collapse into a polarity. You are here to expand into the multiplicity of your being. To let Mars move through you when action is needed. To let Venus draw in when magnetism is called for. To live as all your parts, not just the ones that feel safe or acceptable.

Because beyond polarities is wholeness. And wholeness is power.

✨ Want to go deeper? This is the work I guide clients through — integrating archetypes and energies so they can live with presence, clarity, and power. Connect with me at nikkiwhite.com or on Instagram [@yourhandle].

🎧 This post was adapted from Episode 3 of my podcast, Holding Water: Beyond Polarities. Listen to the full episode wherever you get your podcasts.